In mammals, survival of the species is heavily influenced by parental behavior, since it is the parents, and particularly the mother, who take care of the newborn in the early months of exogestation.
Oxytocin is the hormone that triggers maternal care at an emotional level, leading to the chain of maternal behaviors that makes both reproductive function and initial maternal care possible.1
But what does this maternal care depend on?
It is partially linked to mammalian biology. It also involves a behavioral choice associated with the culture the woman was brought up in and with her social, cultural and geographical context.
In recent years, a huge amount of media and scientific information regarding the benefits of breastfeeding has led to a culture in which breastfeeding is seen as the easiest and most obvious choice for all women.2
There is certainly no doubt about the benefits of exclusive breastfeeding in terms of general health for both mother and newborn: the mother's milk is specifically designed for newborns, promoting the development of the baby's gastrointestinal tract and providing practical assistance in encouraging the bond between mother and baby, among other things. For mothers, breastfeeding promotes rapid uterine involution, encourages initial contact between mother and baby, and reduces the risk of breast cancer and cardiovascular disease.2 Nonetheless, women are not always able or do not always wish to breastfeed their baby.
Breastfeeding is just one of several ways to feed a newborn baby. However, choosing to feed their baby with anything other than breast milk (e.g. a combination of breast milk and formula, or just formula) can expose new mothers to controversy and judgement.
How can we encourage a culture that ensures new mothers are not caught in this trap and judged in this way?
First of all, healthcare professionals can recognize the uniqueness and the value of every mother and their baby, no matter what.
A common stereotype is that a "good mother" is a woman who embraces her baby immediately without any hesitation, has no doubts about breastfeeding and, for an extended period of time, is always happy and completely fulfilled by what she is experiencing. The "good mother" also lives in harmony with her partner, with both of them being full of enthusiasm for their newborn child.
And they are expected to all live happily ever after, like some kind of fairytale. Real life for women can be very different from this rose-tinted vision.
Pregnancy and postpartum motherhood, including breastfeeding, are very personal, complex experiences. It is unhelpful to judge mothers. There is no universal rule that governs how a mother will respond. It is different from one woman to another, and from one family to another, and it depends on the social context and country in which they live.
Healthcare professionals should simply provide information about the different ways of feeding, and the advantages and disadvantages of each method.
There is no such thing as "good mothers" and "bad mothers"; there are simply mothers.3
It is part of the experience of being a mother to express exactly how they are feeling: the moments of joy and doubt, the effort of caring for a newborn baby, the sleepless nights and the quest to find a balance.
Our society does not often allow women to justify the fragility and ambivalence of the experience of becoming a mother and breastfeeding their baby. We expect women to quickly get back to normal, to be efficient mothers and to devotedly breastfeed their newborn . Social and cultural expectations are often very different from the real needs of women and their babies.
In this respect, healthcare workers have an important role to play in supporting women during this phase by providing mothers with the strength and confidence to make decisions for them and their baby.